Loneliness
by CatsbytheGreat
Summary: Edmund has a conversation with Peter about feeling isolated. It helps, a little.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or Narnia.**

**Author's note: This is just a short little one-shot brought on by some odd sort of inspiration. It takes place towards the end of the school year before Peter's first year away at University. In relation to my other stories, it comes before 'By Will Alone' and can go along with it as well. I hope you enjoy!  
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**Edmund could not understand people. They were beyond him, or perhaps he was beyond them. Either way he felt isolated and the only people who could understand were his siblings. And that was enough, really, but it was still hard.

He was sitting beneath a large tree on the grounds of his school, leaning back, his eyes closed. He wanted to relax and even to fall asleep without having to think about anything or anyone.

"Ed?"

Edmund sighed and opened his eyes. Peter was sitting down next to him. "Yes, Peter?"

Peter grinned. "You're lucky, you know, that you were awake. I might have just left you here."

They both knew that Peter would never do something of the sort…or perhaps he would, but then come back a few minutes later and wait for his brother to wake up.

"I was almost asleep," Edmund said, sitting up a little straighter. "I wonder who shall wake me up when you're gone."

"Gone?" Peter asked.

"To University. You are going pretty soon, you know. September isn't so far away."

"We're still a month away from the summer holidays."

"I know." Edmund looked straight ahead and kept his voice light, not wanting Peter to think that there was anything wrong. Really, Edmund hated the idea of Peter going away, of being separated, of being alone. Being alone…

"So," Peter said, trying to sound casual. Edmund had heard that tone of voice before and he knew Peter was about to ask something he would probably rather not answer. "Why are you in such a gloomy mood?"

"What mood?"

"Well, you seem to think that I'm going to be gone before you know it. Which I'm not. And even when I do go, I won't be gone forever. And you're sitting here, alone. You always try to isolate yourself when something's wrong. So, what happened?"

Edmund sighed. "Nothing happened," he said, which was somewhat true. "I mean, I didn't get into a fight and…Oh, I don't know. I suppose I'm feeling lonely."

"So you went off on your own to be alone?" Peter looked slightly amused.

"I had a feeling you'd show up," Edmund said, his lips forming a small grin. "You're so predictable sometimes."

"I am _not_ predictable," Peter said. "If anyone's predictable, it's you."

"Fine, we're both predictable," Edmund said. "We really should ask Lucy or Susan who is more predictable. I'm sure they'd get some amusement out of it."

"Ha," Peter said. Edmund began to relax, but stiffened again when Peter asked, "Why are you lonely?"

"I have a feeling you'll think it's rather stupid, that I think too much, and that I'm wrong," Edmund replied. "Do you really want to hear it?"

"Of course," Peter said. There was a frown on his face and he looked a bit concerned.

Edmund turned his head so that he was looking straight ahead, because sometimes it was easier not to look at Peter while talking. Instead, he looked over the fields of the school and said, "I can't relate to people here. It shouldn't be surprising, really, but I feel surprised. I mean, I know we're older but…by now everyone's old enough to talk about more than the pointless things in life. I miss being able to talk about politics and history and philosophy and not being thought of as odd. And here they do think that, because apparently we're not supposed to talk about those things at our age, even if most people this age know quite a bit about all of those things. But no, they spend all their time talking of girls and food and sports and…I just feel like I'm the only one who cares…about other things…important things."

"Hmm." Peter was deep in thought, now, his eyes a bit distant as he thought over everything and came up with a response.

"I could be wrong," Edmund said.

"I don't think you," said Peter. "I don't think so at all. As a matter of fact, I've felt the same way. I'm hoping things will be better in University, where people should care about those important things more."

Edmund felt slightly surprised and wondered if he really should be. After all, Peter had been an adult once as well, he cared about the same things, and it seemed as though he too got bored with his friends' conversations. "I wonder," Edmund said. "Would we care about these things if we hadn't been to Narnia and…grown up?"

"I should hope we would," Peter said, "but one can never be sure. We still would have met the Professor, and I'm sure that if we never went to Narnia he would still have told us what is important and what isn't." He chuckled. "And Lucy has never really cared for that idle chatter."

"No, she hasn't," Edmund said with a grin. "It's a shame she doesn't go here."

Peter turned towards him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For leaving you here," said Peter. "For leaving you alone. I know it's easier to deal with everything when there's someone to share the experience with and I really don't want to do this to you, Ed. I'm-"

"Don't say sorry," Edmund cut in. "Peter, you're going to have the same problem. It's not like Susan or Lucy or I will be there with you when you go away. Really, there's nothing to be sorry for."

Peter sighed. "Edmund…" He looked around, taking in the grounds and the building and even the tree behind them. "I guess that's what we're here for, then."

"What are we here for?" Edmund had never really understood.

"We're here to make people more aware of the important things in life," Peter said. "We're already found it. Now it's time to share our knowledge. And if they're not interested, then it's their loss."

"Only you would find a purpose in our loneliness," Edmund mused. He leaned back again and closed his eyes. "Not that it's a bad thing. It's all just a matter of whether people are willing to listen or not…"

"I suppose it is." A light breeze picked up and played with the leaves, making a slight rustling sound as it did so. "Shall I leave you here?"

Edmund turned his head and opened his eyes. He saw Peter looking expectantly at him. He smiled. "I rather like your company, if you don't mind."

Peter settled his back against the tree, looking rather pleased. "No, I don't mind. We have time."

And they put off being lonely for a little while longer.


End file.
